That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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