Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
