Barsexuality is the new black.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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