All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
