Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
