I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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