If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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