I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
