why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
