dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
