if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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