super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
