bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
