i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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