the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
