Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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