so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
