I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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