Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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