My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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