Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Randomize
