It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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