She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
