remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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