So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
