Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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