Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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