he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
