Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
