You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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