i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
