Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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