butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
