oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
