How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
