He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
