im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
