There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
