if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
