ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
