How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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