Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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