ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I got her a Nickelback box set.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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