I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
