you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
