I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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