We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
