Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
