Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
