We won't sleep together?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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