we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
